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10 Cringeworthy Dad Jokes for the Ages

For centuries, Dads have preyed on helpless unsuspecting children and partners for their own amusement. Today I pay homage to those that have gone before and survived to tell the tale.


Victim: I'll call you later.

Dad: Don't call me later, call me Dad.

Victim: Hey, dad, I'm running to the store, need anything?

Dad: No, I'm good but I really think you should walk, it's pretty far.

Dad: I hate oyings.

Victim: What is an oying?

Dad: This joke.

Dad: Did you here about the kidnapping?

Victim: Oh no, I didn't. What happened??

Dad: It’s ok he woke up.

Dad: Did you hear about that scarecrow that won an award?

Victim: Dad, please, no.

Dad: He was outstanding in his field.

Victim: Dad its cold in here.

Dad: Go stand in the corner.

Victim: Why?

Dad: It’s 90 degrees.

Waitress: (Sees that dad hasn't eaten all his food) Do you want a box for that?

Dad: No, but I'll wrestle ya for it!

Dad: Did you know that all the people who live around here aren't allowed to be buried in that cemetery.

Victim: Really? Why not?

Dad: Because they're not dead yet.

Guy Behind Counter: (At the Christmas tree store) Are you going to put it up yourself?

Dad: Don't be disgusting, I'm going to put it in the living room.

 Waitress: careful, that plate is hot!

Dad: It's ok, so am I.

Are you a Dad joke survivor? Please share your story with me at!

Your partner in parenting,


Luke Jarvis

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